Becoming a mother the first time around was the most transformative experience I've ever had.

While I loved pregnancy, and had the home birth I hoped and planned for, that was followed by two years of PPD and a futile and torturous attempt to find my way back to myself.

My pregnant body a second time around is a visceral reminder of my courage and transformation: I'm amazed by it.

And my daughter, despite my own darkness, is the one who embodies for me the complicated joy that now I know comes on the other side of this nine-months-long moment.

I don't know what I have to look forward to...but I look forward.

Follow up Thoughts...

"I am going to treasure these images as an encapsulation of joy and anticipation that can stay that way forever, with no pandemic and all those associated traumas to intrude. I remember feeling that a second baby was a really brave step for me, and I had no idea in these pictures what that would really mean. (I'm tearing up now.) Anyway, I am so grateful that you did this, and that I have this. Thank you so, so much for being that conduit between realms in that way."